Its a deep post today so I am giving you fair warning! If you would like to skip it all over and head straight to the Madewell $75 gift card giveaway be my guest! If not you can listen to me rant on and on about marriage.
About a year ago, I wrote a post about being married in my twenties and why it isn’t popular with young people right now. Since that post, and mostly moving to LA, everyone I encounter is shocked to find out the ring on my finger isn’t from my recent engagement. Their eyes go even wider when I inform them its coming up on four years of marriage. “4 years?! You must’ve been a child bride!” I wasn’t exactly a child bride but yes, I was young at age 20. If you asked any of my high school friends you would know that it was not in the plans to get married till at least 27. I had huge dreams and accomplishments I wanted to achieve before tying the knot. I wasn’t boy crazy in high school and that didn’t bother me at all. I spent most of my time at the studio or working to pay for classes at the studio. What I will say is that god obviously knows me better than I know myself and knew exactly what I needed at age 20. I won’t go into our whole dating/engagement story but I fell in love and why wait when you’ve found the one?
Fast forward four years and there is SO MUCH I have learned about myself. None of it was in a handbook and I cannot image what kind of person I would be without this huge growing experience. I’ve said this before and I will say it again…marriage at a young age isn’t for everyone and in no way am I telling you you should be married at 20, but there aren’t enough voices out there telling you how it really is. So I will!
Your responsibilities change. Suddenly life is no longer about only about you. Taking on responsibilities of adulthood is so much easier with somebody else by your side. Dishes, grocery shopping, bills, laundry, and housework is easily dived. I’ve learned I hate finances. Carson isn’t a fan of laundry so we even each other out. No fights about whose turn it is next, it’s just natural. Finances can be stressful but i’m so grateful (especially out here in LA) that we have each other’s paychecks to provide for ourselves.
Your fears get bigger and scarier. Your dreams are not the only ones you kneel and pray for at night. Carson’s dreams are as important as my own and we equally support each other. We jump for joy at new opportunities and struggle together when we fail. Those fears will multiply when kids enter the picture too.
We’re growing up together. You all know I was married at 20 and of course I still had some growing up to do. From the outside looking in, I am sure many would say wait to be married till you fully know yourself. Do we ever fully know ourselves? I’ve learned more about myself in the last 4 years than I did in the previous 10. Its like when teachers say they learn more from their students than the students from them. I feel the same way. Carson has taught me more about myself by simply being my husband. I’ve been show the deepest parts of me, laughed till I cried, and cried till I fell asleep, all with someone who loves me.
I’d rather have a friday night in. I’ve become a home body. I enjoy having my own career as well as friends, but all I want at the end of the day is to go home to my spouse. The best of days and the worst of days, all I want to be is home.
I am not a perfect wife. While dating I tried to be the perfect version of my self. Confident, witty, and all put together. That slowly slips away with marriage and I’m ok with that. The real me (in all my yoga pant glory) has slowly made her way out. I like her better. She is real. She laughs and cries. She has her share of struggles, but she is happy. She is happy to be spending these exciting years of her life with her eternal companion.
Just because it’s monday, and I am all giddy about marriage, I have a giveaway for you! Get your entries in for a chance at a $75 Madewell giftcard!
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